Saturday, April 16, 2011

Coping With Marriage and ADHD

The fact that ADHD adds to the stress in a household is no secret. Yet, one of the greatest gifts any child can receive is happily married parents. Children that grow up in happy homes are said to be better able to form friendships and romantic relationships. With the statistics surrounding ADHD and divorce being so gloomy, how can parents remain happily married?
1. Stop blaming - start acknowledging. When one parent is mainly dealing with the symptoms all day and all night, it is only natural that he or she will become resentful. The child has the condition and this has to be accepted, regardless of the causes and the circumstances. When parents move beyond the blame and accept the situation for what it is, they will be able to celebrate the child's unique personality.
2. Work as a team. It is hard work raising an ADHD child and there is often very little time that is not spent fighting the battles of bad behavior and other social issues. Parents should split responsibilities fairly, each working in some time every day to spend quality time with the child, even if it is for 15 minutes. Sometimes, an hour or two away from home may have the same stress-relieving result as a weeklong luxury cruise. Each partner should get to choose an activity they enjoy that can be enjoyed with the other partner. Spending time together helps to strengthen the bond between partners. However, a bit of "me-time" will also work wonders for an overwrought mother.
3. Appreciate each other. Mothers usually feel like they have to do all the hard jobs and being the bad cop to boot. Dad gets to play with the kids and do fun things, which usually makes him look like the good guy in their eyes. It is important for parents to acknowledge and say that they appreciate their partner's role in dealing with the teachers, the tantrums and the general management of the kids.
4. Be understanding. Finally, men use intimacy as a tool to relax, while the day's stresses could cause a mother to just want to sleep at the end of a long day. It is important for partners to understand and work together to make it fair and create a supportive environment for both partners.

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